Congratuations Phillip and Katie Bradrick!

We really, really wanted to go. The wedding was in Louisiana, a mere 3000 miles way. After calculating the cost of 6 people flying, car rentals, and hotels, it was prohibitive. Another way we thought. We'll drive! We mapped out the route, choose stopping points, calculated mileage, but still out of the question. There has got to be another way!.. and there was....well sort of. We did attend A wedding celebration and viewing at the Bryan family home complete with decorations, food and wedding favors. The wedding was viewed via video streaming and was next to the real thing. We were actually quite a rowdy group so it was probably good that we were not at the wedding. I'd say we were akin to a football crowd gathered around a TV on a Saturday afternoon, except that we were all dressed up (after all we were attending a wedding) So here are some of our pictures and the real wedding pictures of Phillip and Katies wedding pictures through the link below. Cheers!

click here!

For the real pictures of the wedding click here.

The Process of Letting Go....

The process of letting go as your children approach adulthood is a bitter sweet process filled with either confidence or fear depending on how you have raised your children over the years.
In the younger years, training is of utmost importance; training to make their bed, training in cheerfulness and continual practice in daily routines that should become a part of everyday life over time. Their education is primarily knowledge based, fact related and fascination driven. Many boys love to read about astronauts and other science subjects and to develop the ability to make accurate observations. Some girls love insects, butterflies, also enjoy much in the line of science. This is a time to build a knowledge base of the English language and how the world works and to observe the wonders of creation.

In late childhood and early teens, the child should be ready for the understanding level, the ability and skill of drawing careful observations. History may come alive to many children at this time as they discover that history does repeat itself and can learn to love the ability to discern the lessons of history. Teaching your children about life and academic subjects becomes primary in a parents focus while training is being established.

Harvey Bluedorn of Teaching the Trivium: Christian Homeschooling in a Classical Style'>Teaching the Trivium: Christian Homeschooling in a Classical Style, says it well.

Your job would be to train the Knowledge Level to make accurate observations, teach the Understanding Level to draw careful conclusions, and coach the Wisdom Level to express themselves well and apply things effectively. Remember, all children of all age levels are developing all three of these capacities, Knowledge, Understanding, and Wisdom all of the time, but certain age levels are focused on certain levels.

As the child is approaching the late teen years, as my children are, I am seeing much of the later development taking place, the struggle to gain wisdom. This is the level where your job as a parent is to coach and mentor (or find mentors).

As I look back over the years I can see the whole process in arrears and can see obvious glaring holes in some of my parenting. Nevertheless, much of their development has been natural and we can rest that in all that we do God will assist us in doing His will in raising them for His Glory and that will include the natural process of growing up and developing into competent, capable young adults.

As I see my second son (third child) approaching adulthood, I long for the young sweet age of his toddlerhood, remember his tender childhood at 9 and 10 and see him developing into his manhood age as he is moving all too rapidly right now. He is taking on the attributes of manhood. He desires to look after me, and to protect me and to provide for me if necessary. All these things I cherish and long for and yet mean a time of change from childhood dependency to adult responsibility.

Ah the process of letting go is so bittersweet. Lord, give me grace.

Reading tire numbers could mean life or death!

Late this evening my son Jonathan (18) was out underneath all of our vehicles checking out the date of production numbers on our vehicle tires. Find out why you need to learn to read the DOT numbers after you see this short video. Those numbers could mean life or death to you or someone you love. This is worth watching.

Living a Lifestyle of Learning daily

"You have arrived!"

I have been saving, ...and planning ...and researching for what to me is a rather large purchase. Technology does not come easy to me but I found it next to impossible to go without one of these time and almost life saving tools... a GPS.

I contemplated for many months and finally laid down the cash with anticipation, walked away with high hopes and those hopes have not let me down. I love it.

In the three weeks that we have used it on every trip it has already saved me from much stress and last minute reckless lane changes and who knows how many tickets for U turns!

We even named it. It is called Squishy after Finding Nemo fame. It goes with us everywhere and "it will be my squishy and it will be mine."

But something keeps bothering me about it. One particular phrase that it repeats at the end of each and every trip keeps echoing in my mind. It says simply," You have arrived." At first it evoked a chuckle and a grin. "Ha, I have arrived." Then a just a grin and then a little consternation. Oh to have it so simple.

As I am endeavoring to encourage many a young Mom out here to stay the course in Homeschooling with vision, home business for skills, home cooking for health, and homemaking with love, I want to make sure that we have a complete understanding.

I have NOT arrived.

I have learned much in my years at home, and through many struggles but to be perfectly honest, I still struggle at times. I have not mastered all that I preach. I think in principles but act in the flesh. Nevertheless it is in the struggle that the search for God's way begins for all of us. And I am still on the path, just a little ahead of many of you.

....Just wanted you to know that.

Have a good day.... Living a Lifestyle of Learning daily

Chance? No.... Providence, I say

I am so blessed. For many people church is a chore or an obligation, a routine like putting in time at the laundromat. Worse, to some, church attendance is a mindless exercise not being fully aware of exactly why we do this every week or twice yearly as it is with many in the traditional Bible Belt.

To my family, church is a wonderfully delightful "family event."

Why is my church so different? Well, I will tell you a story.

Several years ago I was having serious thoughts about Sunday school and youth groups. The battle for my children's hearts seemed continual and rotated around several issues raised always by events planned by the church. I found myself arguing with youth group leaders about the types of movies that were shown, late night hours and quite a load of junk food not only available but peer group encouraged to consume. Several rock concerts (Christian rock, of course) and the accompanied "lock in" sleep overs threatened to turn me into one of those raging parents in defence of my sweet ones innocence.

The events were all "fun" activities so I guess that is why we tend to overlook them at first but it gets deeper and so does the struggle. Most of the teen rebellion, be it large or small is generally then to be expected and parents are encouraged to go with it and just get them through it.

"Raise them in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it." Why then are 75 % of our youth leaving the church...permanently? I started realizing even though I believed in home education and non age segregated social life, I was somehow thoughtlessly sending my precious little hearts off in age segregated Sunday school classrooms and groups with whomever happened to be the teacher that day. And I often did not know what they were teaching my child about God (another clue...ABOUT God)

Furthermore, the youth group that my now grown children were attending several years ago was led by leaders not much older than my own children. (fools leading fools) Somehow that seems to qualify these leaders as "they can to relate to the kids where they are."

At one point the leader decided to have a (outreach) school book burning bonfire a the end of the school year.
Did I protest?
You know me too well!

Another time one of the youth group members was tied to a street post, toilet papered and sprayed with whipped cream and left there for what was supposed to be several hours...because it was his birthday. That activity was initiated by the youth leaders. I was not very popular when I let loose on them all and untied the poor boy, who by the way was not laughing! Neither is he in the church today.

Another memory comes to mind when I stumbled upon a youth group meeting in process while attending a wedding rehersal where 10 or 15 kids were gathered around a huge water barrel. I was confused seeing one of the young boys with his head immersed up to the neck in the floating ice and water. The kids around were counting hilariously. The challenge was who could keep their head under, breath held for the longest. I still recalled the deathly grey of his face and the obvious disorientation and seeming blindness of one such boy as he came bursting out of the glacier bath. I regret standing by silently in shock. Sufficeth to say I am glad for the leaders sake that my son was not the one in the barrel at the time I stumbled upon the scene. 911 would have had two calls that night.

Fortunately, because of a move to the middle of nowhere on acreage out in the sticks of Arkansas, I had the time to actually think about what I believe and more specifically what the Bible says about youth and how they are to be raised. Many verses immediately came to memory and I found even more as I searched the Scriptures. I started afresh and simply kept my children out of age segregated groups altogether. It wasn't met with a whole lot of encouragement, and even some downright mild rebukes but I held firm, stayed strong, and gained some quiet respect. Still I was continually frustrated by the wonderfully fun type of announcements of what the next Friday night group meeting would bring all the while my boys sitting beside me in church more than slightly pulled with desire.

Then it happened. I called an old friend back in Seattle to make the announcement that we were about to move back to the west coast and she said, "Oh, that' too bad. We won't be in town the weekend you arrive. We are going to a Conference."

My ears pricked up? "Oh? What conference? "

"A Uniting Church and Home Conference."

Uniting Church...and Home... Conference? I was intrigued.

She explained only a little and I knew I had to go. "Do you mean to say that there are other people out there who believe in keeping children's hearts at home and within the family, even at church? That there are whole churches that do not divide the family in age segregated groups the minute you walk through the door? That there aren't any youth group fun filled foolishness packed activity's announced over the microphone for me to have t0 say no?

"Yep."

And to make this story shorter, through that wonderful conference over three years ago we found one of those rare and wonderful churches. At first, to be honest with you, it was a little different and hard to get used to. We were used to a different style of worship and quite easier messages to listen to.
Within a few short weeks though, you could not drag my boys away from the sweet fellowship of mixed ages of many wonderful home school families who believed exactly as we did. Many of them had come through the same path as we did. Furthermore, our new Pastor's wonderful expository preaching spoiled us for anything less for ever more. It is deep and accurate and he lives his faith explicitly.

I confess again, this isn't an easy church to sit in. I have had quite a bit of my theology redefined and challenged. Every week I find myself crying out to God to make me more Holy as He is Holy as I apply the Word to my heart. That, if you have never tried it, is not comfortable.

Consequently, we have all grown in our faith and we have the most wonderful friends of all ages. One of my best friends is 15, a beautiful and fully competant young lady who is the second of 11 children. One of her younger brothers I affectionately call my "little buddy." I have intimate fellowship with both adult single ladies of the church and older Saints in the Lord. Our church is filled with families, fathers and mothers, not just women attendees- a common plight in this manless culture. All over the building you can see every age fellowshipping with any and every other age and group, a teenager talking to a 5 year old, a twenty some thing young lady talking to an older man.

We also have a shared meal at the end of each service. What sweetness of fellowship. It is a whole day of truth in the Word, fellowship with sweet unspoiled home educated friends, and home cooked nourishing food. And all of this is not in a small isolated country town in the center of nowhere but in the heart of one of the busiest and most liberal cities in the US. Seattle.

Chance? No,... Providence, I say.

Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door will be opened to you.

We are so blessed! Thank you Lord, for your direction. Had I not been struggling, I may not have recognized your blessing and found a place to both challenge us and found a place of quiet rest.

For a directory of family integrated churches in your area check out this link. I highly recommend at least a visit.

Living a Lifestyle of Learning daily

28 years ago today.....

I was at the end of my rope. Eight and a half months pregnant and carrying an extra 35 lbs of baby weight, I was getting heavy and felt teary and anxious to have it over. I generally very much enjoyed being pregnant especially since the news of not one but two special blessings soon to come. The fun of picking names was not double but multiple times as great a task as each first and middle name for either a girl or a boy, two boys or two girls had to match or be compatible with the other names. We didn't know what the babies were but I did know that they were fraternal making it a possibility that they could be a boy and girl. (my hope and dream) Ryan and Amy's birth (coming into my life) have been to me the single most life changing event of my life. Having lost my first baby at 18 months after open heart surgery, God had given me a special gift, not only a little girl again but he gave me a boy too! How could I have known how they would captivate my heart. My life has never been the same again.
Even though their birth ending up being an unnecessary emergency C section delivery, they did arrive safe and sound.
I am grateful for the lives of my twins (as all my children) and I enjoy watching their relationship with each other and with their two brothers blossom and mature.

I love you,

Rose and Bud,...no

Lily and Vine... no

Ryan Michael and Amy Joy, ah, now that works

Happy Birthday,

my twins,

my children

my Pride and Joy!

Love, Mom.

(Sorry I could not find a picture of just Ryan, (the one shown includes his lovely wife and their beautiful children) or of the twins together as adults, but I will try to locate a good baby picture and an adult one as well, and will post it as soon as I do. (Amy is also married (to Tim)and has a very cute baby boy.

Living a Lifestyle of Learning daily

Character first- but how?

We all know that character is first and most important in raising your children, not academics, not accomplishments, not creativity.... but character. We all set out to accomplish this daunting task and soon run into the absolute impossibility of this idealistic approach. It is not as easy as it sounds and most often we run into both the sin nature of our children and the battle for our own obvious lack of character. The two worlds collide as we realize that our own character training may not have been as thorough as we may have thought.

Furthermore, the thing that I have most objected to over the years in the homeschooling arena is everyone seems to say that character is supposed to be first in their children's training but no one seems to say how to do that. We really do not know what that means in the application of everyday life.

After raising two great kids and two more almost ready for the world, I can now say that raising children with the principles of honesty, integrity, perseverance, determination, thoroughness, respect, etc, is not easy, but it is simple.

In one word, it is relationship. We are all made for relationship (with God himself and also with each other) but our sin nature pushes us to hide from relationship and especially accountability in those very relationships that we treasure the most. Nevertheless, as you are raising our children jealously guard those important relationships. Let nothing come in between you and your child.

(Warning-peer and age segregated activities may be the number one threat.) (more on this later, in another post)

When you blow it, loose your temper, or selfishly push them away, etc, apologize and get this slate cleaned quickly. Make sure you do not repeatedly offend or they will not believe your apologies. If you can retain that precious respect you child has for you then you will be able to speak into your child's life much easier as your child gets older. In fact, the ability to which your child accepts difficult instructions or corrections from you is the degree to which you hold his heart.

Keep in mind always that your child wants - no - needs a relationship with you, even if he does not show it. Some personalities are very appreciative and expressive and the need for relationship is obvious. Others are less demonstrative but need you nonetheless. This principle has held me on track many a time when I felt so overwhelmed with the hopelessness of one of my children getting the lesson I am trying to have him master. Overtime it will be the strength of the relationship that will cause the weight and pressure your child will need to reach out and grasp perseverance or obedience or whatever you may be working on, when you expect it of him.

Let us not become weary in well doing, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore as we have opportunity (while our children are still under our roof), let us do good, to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers (our children)

Galatians 6;9

How about any one's experience? How have you been able to teach character and still maintain relationship with your children?

Words of Wisdom for a New Couple

This weekend we are going to be attending a wedding of a young couple that we have known since the groom he was about 5 years old. We have been family friends with his parents and we have watched each others children grow up and now get married. One of the wonderful ways that his mother has decided to celebrate her son's wedding is that she has asked the attendees to write some words of wisdom to be returned with the RSVP so they can be printed and included in a wedding album for the new couple.
It really takes some thinking when you know your words will be immortalized perhaps for many decades of their lives together. Wisdom on a subject like this has to be dug for, and quite ironically these four points came to me as I was digging in the garden today planting some more flowers (hoping that we would get some summer this year so they can grow!)

Most wisdom comes to us thought trial and error and so it is true with these words of mine. Much of what I have to say has come from my own struggles and dysfunction in these areas. Only in crying out to God have I found any hope of resolution in these areas (and I'm still working on some of them)

I thought I'd include them for your thinking pleasure today.

Dear Chris and Sarah,
What a wonderful day this is, June 21st, 2008. Whatever the future holds for you, this date will go down in history as the moment of the biggest commitment of your life.

Chris, your Mom and Dad have asked for words of wisdom for you and I have summarized four points for your careful consideration.

The first one is commitment. I'm sure you have heard lots about commitment as you have contemplated marriage but the word commitment needs to be more clearly defined as a commitment to communicate. It would be naive to assume that you will never act in the flesh. Life is going to get complicated.
You will tend to go in opposite directions and you will grow apart over time. It is the natural law of the sin nature and of marriage in general to grow apart as life gets busy and time goes by. When offenses occur, and they will, the natural tendency is to withdraw, and resent. The difference to a successful marriage and a subsistence marriage is that one major factor. The commitment to stay married, though thick and thin but more specifically, the commitment to stay in communication and resist resentment and isolationism.This is when the commitment to communicate will produce opportunities for some very “intense
moments of fellowship” but the rewards will be a stronger marriage and a deeper understanding of each other and the oneness that you will eventually achieve in your marriage.

The greatest gift you can give each other and any future children
is a strong marriage, not just a subsistence marriage.

The second thought I had is, be together. Be together as a family now and after you have children, should you be so blessed. Do everything together. Build together a house or a plan garden or a ministry or a family, but do it together. Whatever it is, be one in direction and be and live together. Knowing that the natural, tendency is
to grow apart, this will be a safeguard and an antidote to destructive forces in your lives together.

This, of course, does not mean that either of you cannot never do anything alone, baby showers, or golfing with the guys, etc, but the oneness of direction should be found in your everyday life. Nor does it mean that each of you will not be doing different tasks that make up the overall goal, but the overall focus is on working together, in the same direction for the common purpose.

Make your home the centrality of all family life. This takes intentional purpose and even within the church you will find good intentioned people purposing to fragment your family in all different directions and for different purposes. Be one in all that you do, in family worship, family work and family play. Many distractions will complete for your hearts. Avoid the current tendency to run to meetings, important clubs, and working late instead building your home around the sacredness of the home. Make relationships your top priority even at the expense of profit.

Build a home, a nest where virtue can be developed.

I know several families that have mastered this art and it is no small feat for the size of these families. Many of them have between 8 and 11 children and they all go everywhere together. They serve in ministry together, put an addition on the house together and they build their homestead together and all the children are learning at their father's and mother's side to serve and grow and mature. It is a testimony of the oneness between the parents and the children have learned to follow. They are powerful families that have formed family conviction as each of the children grow into maturity ready to grow their own families.

Thirdly, fulfill your God ordained roles within the family. Chris, love your wife and be the leader and initiator of your home. All selfishness and independence must die at the alter. Learning to lead a family may take some time to master but it will set up the environment for your wife to truly be feminine, to be a support, companion and advisor to you all your life.

She will find it difficult to honor you if you will not be honorable in taking the lead and initiative and if she feels unloved in any way. I have seen many wives frustrated and alienated because their husbands will not lead but sit passivlly until their wives give up and take over. This makes it very difficult for wives to function this way and a loss of respect is inevitable. Our entire culture is generally manless, so I say, Chris be a man, be counter culture in this manless, feminized society.

Sarah, be a woman in all that the Word calls beautiful. Develop a meek and quiet spirit and resort to prayer in times of unresolved disagreements. Be faithful, so your husbands heart can safely trust in you. Be a blessing to him and be a good housekeeper, full of industry and productivity. Be happy and create your home, not expecting him to be the one to make you happy. Provide for him a home full of the fragrance of your sweet spirit and the aroma of a good home cooked meal.

The fourth and final thought is a word of advice that is not what you may have typically heard in premarriage counselling, in social circles nor even in church circles these days. It too, is very counter cultural, but it is entirely Biblical. Children are a blessing. The number of children that you have is not as important as the profound principle that children are a blessing. “Go forth and multiply” and I pray God's blessing on the fruitfulness of your relationship and to be blessed with many children!

Rejoicing with you this day and in your lives together.
Elvis and Janet Langford
Jonathan,
Graydon,
Ryan and Stephanie,
Abbie (3) and Caden, (1)
Amy and Tim, Gabriel, (1)

What words of wisdom would you speak to encourage a young couple just starting out in life?

Living a Lifestyle of Learning daily

Thank You for Making Me a Mother!

My grandmother used to come to visit us every year or two when I was growing up and she frequently seemed to be visiting on her Birthday in August. She always did something that was rather confusing to me as a child. On HER birthday, she gave everyone ELSE presents.

That gave me an idea!

This Mothers Day, I want to give my children a gift, a blessing to show my gratitude to you (my children) for making me a mother.

I was born a woman (female), choice made me a wife, but I became a mother when I gave birth. Yes, some in the more modern world might say it too was a choice, but I call it destiny. Each child has a purpose and placed in time for HIS purpose by God. And more importantly never is any child an "accident."

I have had the privilege of raising four precious children. Each one has touched me and made me a different person. Each one created for me different challenges and many, many times I would fall on my face (knees) and cry out for wisdom knowing full well I could not do this alone. Many times I would have the victory and many times I failed. My self centered nature would rule and my flesh dominated when it should not have. But what do hope to have taught you all is that you too will need God's grace in your life as well, as you too will fail! Cry out to HIM as you are raising your precious ones. You cannot do this alone!

Ryan, my son, my champ. My sweet boy, so seeking approval and so tender hearted in his love for his Mommy. You softened my heart and opened it full to the sensitive nature that you have been given. You are the first part in the matching set of boy and girl twins- my pride and joy. You have grown up and are tall and a man and I'm so proud of you. You actively love your wife and lead your family gently, with wisdom and firmness. You weathered the storm in your health with a stature that I'm sure I would not have.

Thank you for being a good example (most of the time) for your brothers. They look up to you and admire you and you have modelled for them manly leadership in your home.

I love your convictions. I love the theocratic conversations that we have had and I know I can bounce things off you knowing that you will give me full hearing and that you will offer advice based on earned truth and your wisdom.

Thank you for giving me Stephanie, another daughter (we have so much in common!) and to top that off, you both have given me two beautiful grandchildren. Abbie is the light of my life, and Caden is quickly becoming an image of the memories I had of you as a baby.

Amy Joy, the second half of my pride and joy. How I loved having a daughter. Some of the best memories I have of you growing up is you always being in the the kitchen with me, chopping and talking, stirring and chatting. You always seemed to be there and I miss you terribly. I respected your advice on color and style and you were the one I could depend on to be a girl in a house full of boys. (not that that was all that bad) Your sweet nature shines and I love your love for your husband. I delight in seeing you love and raise your sweet baby boy. What fun. What delight to see him challenge you and to see you rising to the call and practicing the art of motherhood.

Thank you for loving your brothers so much. You are looked up to and respected by one tall brother and two getting taller brothers.

Thank you for giving me Tim, another son in a long line of boys. (and I love it) He is so dedicated to his family and I feel relief and trust in his care and manly protection of you and your children. Thank you, Tim for being a man in a man-absent culture.

Jonathan, my sweet tender boy. I saw a drawing of a little curly tussle headed two year old boy and my heart filled with desire to have you. You are that boy, (curls and all) sweet, tender and kind. You used to twirl your curly hair around your finger until it got stuck, and you used to jump off your top bunk at three years old, and then increasing numbers of stairs and who knows what else if we weren't looking. And yet your heart is tender and your ability for relationships is well formed. Your grasp of scriptural principles is good and I love your wit.
Your art and vision with wood is wonderful and I love all the wood presents I have and will be receiving.

I love seeing you love your "little" brother, who was gift for you. You compliment each other well.

I am praying for God's choice for your life companion and one day will have to give you up to her....not without a gentle fight)

Graydon Isaac William, the tiny little baby with the long name. I delighted in seeing you tucked in the corner of the couch as a two week old baby on Christmas day, always checking to see if you were alright. Another beautiful baby boy, and for Christmas! How I loved you. And how quickly you learned to compete with your brother....and how you got into things... like Vaseline!
You are self motivated and love learning and love making up games. I love your sense of humor and find it amazing that we choose the name Isaac, which means laughter for you truly make me laugh!Thank you for being my son and being who you are. (Hug your Mawther!)

I am praying for your future help meet as well. Develop vision for your life, my son and she will compliment you well. I will not give you up without a fight either. She is going to have to be someone pretty good!

Some children come into our lives for only a short time and we share in their struggle for life but it ends prematurely. We would not have planned that short life but the pain and grief of that loss touches us and we will never be the same again.

To my sweet little girl, Jenny. You will always be in my heart. A year and a half was way too short but oh, how you changed my life! When I get to heaven I will be looking for you. Please look for me. I want to hold you again. I want to see you healed and happy and a beautiful young woman! Will I recognize you?

It took me a while to realize that you were the completion of the five children that had in my heart. You were first but, I had not counted backwards till recently.

Thank you, my children for making me a mother. I love you and pray for you and I give you a charge now to carry the baton. Don't drop it, but carry it on and pass it well until we (together) complete a 200 year plan of Godly redemption in our family line. Remember, you are now raising your grandchildren, while your children are young, so walk accordingly.

Go ahead and make me a Mom and Pop Herd! (if you do not know what I mean-ask me!)

Where did I learn to be a Mother? From my Mother, of course. So this is also an honor for my Mother this Mother's Day. "Thanks, Mom." You really taught me how through example and though words of wisdom. I learned so much from you. (and still do)

Have a great day everyone!
Janet, Mom, Mommy, Grandma

Give Your Children a Gift this Mother's Day!

When my grandmother was alive she did something every year on her birthday that confused me as a young child. On HER birthday, she gave everyone else presents!

What a great idea! (More on this later in Sunday's Post)

This Mothers Day, I give you applause, Moms for being that selfless person that is always there, nurturing, praying and guiding your children. No, we are not perfect and far more times than not we do blow it. But getting up again is our second nature because even after we blow it we still have sweet children to keep raising, and their forgiveness seems to motivate us on.

When my children were young we went though a phase of turning eveything into an acrostic. I remembered that time when I came across this poem for Mother FOR our children. (I may just use this poem as a model to create one individual poem for each of my children)

M- Is for Multi-tasking. Though our hands are always busy, we always listen to you.

O - Is for Overworked. We've got a lot to do - for you! - so it's OK and good when you kids pitch in without being asked.

T - Equals Task-master. We make you work because we love you!

H - Heart of the home...that's us! Keep us happy and everyone's happy.

E - We're Exciting!!! We try to make life and learning interesting, even when it's long division.

R - We Remember everything wonderful about you, our kids, even when you're being "little beasts" and not living up to who we know you are. We remember, no you remember...you're our kids, and we love you!!

Hats off to you, MOMs. Keep up the good and faithful work. Never be weary in well doing for there is a reward in heaven for you if you faint not! (my paraphrase-the best way I remember scripture principles.)
Have a great Mother's Day!

A prodical's return - a moms' story

The importance of keeping your child's heart is so important BUT life happens and we are not perfect and we do offened and put distance between us and our precious children. When that happens we may not even know it has happened as many of us chalk distant behavior as normal growing distance that is supposed to happen between us and our teens as they mature. NOT SO. The emotional connection is meant to continue and grow in intimacy thoughtout the years so that the most important years of their lives, the teens and early twenties, are not left to chance or worse peer influence. Our children should not be without a guide, confidant or words of wisdom when they need them.

Moms- do not let your children go. DO not loose their hearts but if you do here is a story of a sweet mom willing to face some difficult issues in her own life and the fruit that came out of it. She regained her son's heart! (This email is in responce to an inquiring email on a yahoo group that I belong to.)

Dear Susan,

I wanted to give testimony of what the Lord has done in our family. You have written a perfect description of my son up until a couple years ago when he was 13. He is also second born, just like the son described here. I read your e-mail to him as well, and he said, "That sounds just like how I was!"

He's 15 now, and he is sooo changed. I have his heart completely, and he is willingly and eagerly attentive to my every instruction and influence. He's become affectionate and loving toward me and all his siblings. (I have 5 kids all together). He's become very focused in fully directing his own education with self government, and valuable purpose, with the only curriculum being his math book.

So, how did this happen? That's what I want to share and encourage others with. I've been trying to think of how to express what happened in a brief e-mail, but truthfully, I could write a book about it if I had the time. So I'll just try and hit some of the main things I learned.

He's not the only one who's had major changes. It began when I started to learn from a friend who was loving enough to tell me the truth, that I was motivated by my desire to be accepted by the people around me, in all that I did. I cared more about my image, than about my children and my home. A couple years ago, I would not have agreed with her, but now I see, she was totally right.

Part of what frustrated me the most about my son, if I was really honest, is that he wasn't conforming to my image of how my homeschooling family was supposed to be turning out. Even though no one around me really even knew about it. From the outside my family was quite perfect looking. I'm not talking about a life of pretending to be one way in front of people and being another at home. My desire for my image of the perfect family was carried out in my everyday life, whether anyone outside the family could see me or not.

I started listening to my conscience about how I was treating my family members. I started changing, and I soon began to speak with my children about listening to their consciences, and how our conscience will always lead us toward acts of love, and away from acts of self-centeredness. I noticed that my younger children were quite sensitive to obeying their consciences, but my 13 yr old son was not. I came to realize the truth, that he did not want to obey his conscience. I let him know, and I admitted as well, that he had not surrendered his heart to the Lord. Up until that time, I had thought he prayed the sinners prayer, that means he's a Christian, just like the rest of us.

At that time, I had been frustrated with him not taking up the smallest of disciplines. I wanted him to wash his face, clean his room, keep his school records. He was regularly avoiding these small things, and sometimes even lying about doing them. At that time, the Lord showed me a principle, that Love enables us to obey.

With this understanding, and by the leading of the Holy Spirit, I required my son to meet with me at 8:00 each morning for a few minutes. In these minutes, I sat close to him, and put my arm around him. I told him I loved him, and ran my hand through his hair and touched his face. I brought up anything I could encourage him with about the previous day. I prayed for him, and then asked him to remember the 3 small things I wanted him to do. I kissed him, and then asked him to go do them before breakfast. I was doing this in obedience to the Lord, and it was a sacrifice. He had not been an affectionate son for many years.

I thought this was just the Lord's solution to getting him to do these 3 small things, but He had much more in mind. Over the days, my son was easily able to do the tasks, but something else was happening. He began to look forward to being loved on. He loosened up, and began to lean into my affection. He began to ask me about small relational problems he was having with his siblings. Actually, he began to ask me lots of things, just to be able to stay longer in my arms. Even though he showed no indication of returning the affection.

I didn't really know it at the time, but his heart was being turned toward me. One night, there was a big storm, in which my dog disappeared. We began to search for him, and my son was the most concerned. I thought at the time he was concerned about the dog, but I later learned, he was concerned about me, because he knew how much I loved my dog. The next afternoon, he found my dog, killed in the ditch. I cried, and my son comforted me. The Lord had been speaking to his conscience, and as we prepared to bury my dog, he felt compelled to confess his hidden sexual sin to me. He was afraid that his sin had caused my dog to die. He came to me trembling and weeping, and asking my forgiveness. I showered him with forgiveness and hugs, and I assured him it wasn't true, but the Lord was allowing him to understand in a kid understandable way, that our sin did cause His son to die. The Lord was allowing my son to be broken over his sin, and the hurt that he thought had caused me, even though I didn't know about his sin. He told me that he felt very guilty about his sin, and he had tried often to stop, but he was always afraid to tell me. He thought I would get really mad. But, he said, now he knew that I loved him enough to help him get out of the sin, instead of just getting mad about it. I was stunned, but I knew it was the work of the Lord. I began to cry again, but this time it was in gratefulness to the Lord, that the death of my dog brought my son's heart to me.

Since that time, my son has continued to meet with me every morning at 8:00. I no longer require it, but he wouldn't miss it for the world, and neither would I. He sits with me, often for an hour. Sometimes I have to tell him to leave, so that he'll have time to get some breakfast. All those little tasks, he eagerly does and more, before he meets with me. Now we talk about his projects, and how he can overcome the challenges he's having with them, and how he can make them more well rounded by including some self generated writing projects. We talk about his relationship with each of his siblings, and how he can purposefully improve them, with self-sacrificing love. He's learned to say nice things, which he could never bring himself to do before. I hold him accountable, and ask about his conscience regularly. He looks me square in the eyes with a big beaming smile, and tells me his conscience is clean. He often speaks about how he never wants to go back to hiding sin, and the horrible feelings of living in guilt and hidden shame. He talks candidly about how his fear of my disapproval lead him to become a liar. He speaks with teary eyes of how the Lord has set our family free.

He is right. It was my disapproval, which was actually being formed by my own fear of being disapproved of. I wanted to be perfect, and have the perfect family, so I was quick to discipline my children into conforming to my image of the perfect family. I put it to another young mom this way, if you want your kids to be obedient, and to excel so that you will look good, then they will become what you are, a user of others for self-centered gain. Those days are long gone. I only need to love them, and truthfully show them the way toward obeying their conscience, and always choosing to love, as the Holy Spirit leads, first and foremost toward their siblings and parents and never using others for anything, even for seeking approval.

My story is not a formula to get your teenager's hearts. But I did learn several principles that are always true. Love enables us to change, and we can't help our children to change if the reason we want them to change is for our own image, for then we are only using them, not loving them. Everyone has a need to be known for the wretches that we truly are, and still be loved. The Holy Spirit knows what is needed, but His way will always include doing things we'd really rather not do. I thought it was only my adolescent son who's heart I did not have, but after coming to see what it was like to truly have someone's heart, I saw that I didn't have my older daughter's hearts either, even though they appeared to be much more compliant, and wanting the things of the Lord. Our family is totally changed now. Praise to the Lord!

I know I haven't been able to express all of the aspects of our total family transformation in this e-mail, but I am open to questions that can draw out more principles about what I have learned about the way the Lord works.
Susan, please be encouraged, the Holy Spirit knows what to do, He's only waiting for your co-operation with His ways. I have been praying for you.

Barbie

If you have any questions or discussions for Barbie, post them here and I will pass them on to her for her for reply, or email directly at bpoling@aol.com

100th post- Whoo Hoo

In keeping with blogging tradition, I’ve written 100 things about myself, since this is my official 100th post! Aren't we cute?



1 I love night snow in early December,
2 I love Christmas.
3 I love to organize anything,
4 but hate to tidy things up.
5 I think flowers are candy for the eyes.
6 I married Elvis and he is still in the building.
7 I have four awesome children,
8 and one sweet little girl waiting for me in heaven.
9 I'm a interior decorator in a former life.
10 I have home educated all my children through several paradigm changes
11 and they still love me.
12 I spent my teenage and early adult years mastering my passion for sewing
13 and then burned out.
14 I struggle to hem pants.
15 I buy my clothes at Good Will and garage sales.
16 And they look great!
17 My childhood passions were decorating cardboard boxes with Sears catalogue furniture and carpet pictures.
18 I loved to play school.
19 I was always the teacher, librarian and Mom - always
20 -hey nothing has changed!
21 In my next life I want to be a concert pianist and do ballet.
22 I love healthy eating and learning new things.
23I hate commercial TV.
24 I hate TV commercials even more,
25 but do love a good movie now and then.
26 I was saved and baptised at 17.
27 I am grateful for His grace in my life.
28 He is the only one who really knows me.
29 I love my Bible and the life that springs from it in my quiet times.
30 I love to keep a Bible notebook.
31 I never went to college and I'm glad.
32 I would not have survived.
33 The only thing I ever wanted to be in my life was a wife and mommy.
34 Hey again - nothing has changed!
35 I already have 3 of 25 grandchildren.
36 I adore my grandchildren;
37 they seem like they are my own.
38 I learned much of how to be a grandmother by my mother 's example.
39 I love to cook but not bake cakes.
40 I am rediscovering the beauty of raw chocolate.
41 I love being a woman.
42 I love to dress like a lady.
43 I'm a hopeless romantic, in my dreams only.
44 I'm actually quite choleric.
45 I'm glad one of my four children was a girl;
46I would have at least had one of my boys in pink ruffles, if I didn't.
47 I had my dream came true when I had boy and girl twins.
48They are my pride and joy
49 They were what held me together during some hard times.
50 They were my morning shift
51 Then I had a 10 year gap.
52 I love having two boys last.
53 They were my afternoon shift.
54 I never had a midnight shift,
55 -wish I had.
56 My favorite music is by Frank Mills.
57 My baby and I used to dance to it before she died.
58 I'm Canadian,
59 Eh?
60 (I do not know anyone who actually says that)
61 We live in Washington State.
62 Some say my "accent" still gives me away
63 My school yearbook said I wanted to travel after grad.
64 I have never gone anywhere.
65 My children have gone all over the world.
66 I love my reformed church.
67 I have an insatiable hunger to learn;
68 Computers are not logical.
69 I can't type.
70 I can and do order more books than I ever could possibly read
71 I used to play the baritone but now I don't.
72 I'm a budget believer and get a charge out of saving money
73 My mother is a garden guru,
74 I'm not.
75 My father played pool with Gandhi,
76 I didn't.
77 My children grew up too fast,
78 I didn't want to grow up at all.
79 My husband is a engineer manager,
80 and a very good one.
81 I'm a domestic engineer,
82 and getting better.
83 I love tropical fruit.
84 I should have grown up in Hawaii.
85 When alone I love to turn up the music loud and dance my heart out.
86 Nobody knows that.
87 I love health and vitality and have fought for it all my life.
88 My oldest son had cancer last year.
89 I wanted to throw up instead of him.
90 I kept seeing him as a little boy holding my hand.
91 I wanted to protect him;
92 but he was too big.
93 Music fills my lungs with hope
94 One day I will see my Saviors face
95 and He will say by his grace alone,
96 "Well done, good and faithful servant"
97 I can trust Him for that.
98 I obviously cannot count to one hundred...
99 very well...
100 at all!


Sigh, "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"
"No, not really"

Mother Culture- I Love Being a Woman.

Today was an unusual day. We did not do much school work at all: just didn't have time, but we did enjoy a rich education. In preparation for the upcoming Christian Heritage and Family Discipleship Conference in which my boys were singing in the chorale, we all sat at the piano and plunked out parts. I'm not at all very good at reading music anymore. I used to love and live for band class where I became very proficient in a couple of brass instruments. But that was so long ago, and without much practice my music reading abilities have gone down hill. But nevertheless we all sat around and laughed, and prodded, and lifted our voices in praise in some really great hymns of the faith.

Later, after dinner was in the crock pot, Graydon (15) and I went out to Value Village to find a white long sleeve shirt and a black bow tie, standard fare for the performances. I figured the shirt would be easy but as I suspected not one bow tie to be found. Oh well, I looks like I will be doing the same as last year when I made my oldest sons tie. I was hoping that I still had black fabric at home along with the red striped bow tie that I will take apart to use the metal clip.

No such forethought.

I did not even have any black fabric but I did have some very, very, dark blue silk that I had planned on cutting off the bottom of my favorite silk blouse that was too long. Ha, it will work! I did not have to go out again! So, after dinner I went upstairs to work on the bow tie, and in short order it was finished. Graydon glowed with pride when I told him that a silk bow tie is extra special! No one else will have a silk bow tie at the chorale! Later in the evening I took one boy at a time and went over some more parts and we laughed and really enjoyed ourselves!

What would our family be like if I worked all day! What if I had 6 loads of laundry to do and had a headache from traffic stress? What if I had to pick up a weeks groceries on the way home, arriving after 7 to start dinner? What if I had chores to line up and homework to check and attitudes to get back in line?

What would it be like? My life would not be rich with Mother culture! Mother culture is the special home type of nurturing and emotional security that only a tender and a loving mother can provide. She is there to do whatever is needed, whenever it is needed. She is flexible, creative, productive and resourceful. All these things add to the culture of the home making it a wonderful place to nurture and raise children.

I am grateful for the priviledge of staying home full time, even though that too has its challenges but I would not want to ever miss out on the wonderful benefits of developing my womanhood and growing the value of mother culture in my family. I know my boys will also want their wives to stay home and be all they can be to serve their families as well.

Life is good when we are doing what God has called us to do. Thank you, Lord for making me a woman; for creating in me a desire to be a homemaker and giving me the ability to do it to the best of my ability.

We have just returned from a wonderful family trip up north to see our two married children and their families just over the Canadian border. It is always such a delight for me as a mom and grandma to visit my children and to see the newest developments in Abbie (3) and the two babies, Caden, 10 months, (Ryan and Stephanies second), and Gabriel, 7 months, (Tim and Amy's first) I had a great time just watching and holding my two babies learn new things and progress in their development. How I miss them all.
Caden- a spittin' image of his Daddy at that age-(My son) He is 10 months now and really cutting some sharp teeth but we did manage to get some smiles out of him this time.
Gabriel ( 7 months) is a going concern. He never stops moving, ever. Even if it is just his hands or his feet while nursing. Whenever he is not so preoccupied he is rolling and twisting and just about crawling. He has a lovely smile but he just kept hidding it that day.





Okay, enough boasting in my grandchildren. Back to work on a really good post coming up next!

"Dear Elliot" - 99 Balloon Salute

Many tears flowed when I viewed this precious video. How bittersweet this life can be, and yet knowing from whence we came and to where we go makes bitter and sad parting just a time of longing to see our precious loved ones again.

Sweet remembrances of my own sweet Jenny, born with trisomy 21 and a congenital heart defect, flood back to my memory through the tears. She was taken home after only a short year and a half of her life with us here on this earth.

I'll bet you are playing with Elliot right now! Miss you so much sweetie!