Friday, October 17, 2008

The Process of Letting Go....

The process of letting go as your children approach adulthood is a bitter sweet process filled with either confidence or fear depending on how you have raised your children over the years.
In the younger years, training is of utmost importance; training to make their bed, training in cheerfulness and continual practice in daily routines that should become a part of everyday life over time. Their education is primarily knowledge based, fact related and fascination driven. Many boys love to read about astronauts and other science subjects and to develop the ability to make accurate observations. Some girls love insects, butterflies, also enjoy much in the line of science. This is a time to build a knowledge base of the English language and how the world works and to observe the wonders of creation.

In late childhood and early teens, the child should be ready for the understanding level, the ability and skill of drawing careful observations. History may come alive to many children at this time as they discover that history does repeat itself and can learn to love the ability to discern the lessons of history. Teaching your children about life and academic subjects becomes primary in a parents focus while training is being established.

Harvey Bluedorn of Teaching the Trivium: Christian Homeschooling in a Classical Style'>Teaching the Trivium: Christian Homeschooling in a Classical Style, says it well.

Your job would be to train the Knowledge Level to make accurate observations, teach the Understanding Level to draw careful conclusions, and coach the Wisdom Level to express themselves well and apply things effectively. Remember, all children of all age levels are developing all three of these capacities, Knowledge, Understanding, and Wisdom all of the time, but certain age levels are focused on certain levels.

As the child is approaching the late teen years, as my children are, I am seeing much of the later development taking place, the struggle to gain wisdom. This is the level where your job as a parent is to coach and mentor (or find mentors).

As I look back over the years I can see the whole process in arrears and can see obvious glaring holes in some of my parenting. Nevertheless, much of their development has been natural and we can rest that in all that we do God will assist us in doing His will in raising them for His Glory and that will include the natural process of growing up and developing into competent, capable young adults.

As I see my second son (third child) approaching adulthood, I long for the young sweet age of his toddlerhood, remember his tender childhood at 9 and 10 and see him developing into his manhood age as he is moving all too rapidly right now. He is taking on the attributes of manhood. He desires to look after me, and to protect me and to provide for me if necessary. All these things I cherish and long for and yet mean a time of change from childhood dependency to adult responsibility.

Ah the process of letting go is so bittersweet. Lord, give me grace.