The Process of Letting Go....

The process of letting go as your children approach adulthood is a bitter sweet process filled with either confidence or fear depending on how you have raised your children over the years.
In the younger years, training is of utmost importance; training to make their bed, training in cheerfulness and continual practice in daily routines that should become a part of everyday life over time. Their education is primarily knowledge based, fact related and fascination driven. Many boys love to read about astronauts and other science subjects and to develop the ability to make accurate observations. Some girls love insects, butterflies, also enjoy much in the line of science. This is a time to build a knowledge base of the English language and how the world works and to observe the wonders of creation.

In late childhood and early teens, the child should be ready for the understanding level, the ability and skill of drawing careful observations. History may come alive to many children at this time as they discover that history does repeat itself and can learn to love the ability to discern the lessons of history. Teaching your children about life and academic subjects becomes primary in a parents focus while training is being established.

Harvey Bluedorn of Teaching the Trivium: Christian Homeschooling in a Classical Style'>Teaching the Trivium: Christian Homeschooling in a Classical Style, says it well.

Your job would be to train the Knowledge Level to make accurate observations, teach the Understanding Level to draw careful conclusions, and coach the Wisdom Level to express themselves well and apply things effectively. Remember, all children of all age levels are developing all three of these capacities, Knowledge, Understanding, and Wisdom all of the time, but certain age levels are focused on certain levels.

As the child is approaching the late teen years, as my children are, I am seeing much of the later development taking place, the struggle to gain wisdom. This is the level where your job as a parent is to coach and mentor (or find mentors).

As I look back over the years I can see the whole process in arrears and can see obvious glaring holes in some of my parenting. Nevertheless, much of their development has been natural and we can rest that in all that we do God will assist us in doing His will in raising them for His Glory and that will include the natural process of growing up and developing into competent, capable young adults.

As I see my second son (third child) approaching adulthood, I long for the young sweet age of his toddlerhood, remember his tender childhood at 9 and 10 and see him developing into his manhood age as he is moving all too rapidly right now. He is taking on the attributes of manhood. He desires to look after me, and to protect me and to provide for me if necessary. All these things I cherish and long for and yet mean a time of change from childhood dependency to adult responsibility.

Ah the process of letting go is so bittersweet. Lord, give me grace.

Many of us have great and powerful disabilities to overcome in life, but few of us choose to focus our life purpose and occupation in that very area of disability. Watch this amazing and moving video to see what determination and perseverance can produce through the message of this dance.

Living a Lifestyle of Learning daily

"You have arrived!"

I have been saving, ...and planning ...and researching for what to me is a rather large purchase. Technology does not come easy to me but I found it next to impossible to go without one of these time and almost life saving tools... a GPS.

I contemplated for many months and finally laid down the cash with anticipation, walked away with high hopes and those hopes have not let me down. I love it.

In the three weeks that we have used it on every trip it has already saved me from much stress and last minute reckless lane changes and who knows how many tickets for U turns!

We even named it. It is called Squishy after Finding Nemo fame. It goes with us everywhere and "it will be my squishy and it will be mine."

But something keeps bothering me about it. One particular phrase that it repeats at the end of each and every trip keeps echoing in my mind. It says simply," You have arrived." At first it evoked a chuckle and a grin. "Ha, I have arrived." Then a just a grin and then a little consternation. Oh to have it so simple.

As I am endeavoring to encourage many a young Mom out here to stay the course in Homeschooling with vision, home business for skills, home cooking for health, and homemaking with love, I want to make sure that we have a complete understanding.

I have NOT arrived.

I have learned much in my years at home, and through many struggles but to be perfectly honest, I still struggle at times. I have not mastered all that I preach. I think in principles but act in the flesh. Nevertheless it is in the struggle that the search for God's way begins for all of us. And I am still on the path, just a little ahead of many of you.

....Just wanted you to know that.

Have a good day.... Living a Lifestyle of Learning daily

Chance? No.... Providence, I say

I am so blessed. For many people church is a chore or an obligation, a routine like putting in time at the laundromat. Worse, to some, church attendance is a mindless exercise not being fully aware of exactly why we do this every week or twice yearly as it is with many in the traditional Bible Belt.

To my family, church is a wonderfully delightful "family event."

Why is my church so different? Well, I will tell you a story.

Several years ago I was having serious thoughts about Sunday school and youth groups. The battle for my children's hearts seemed continual and rotated around several issues raised always by events planned by the church. I found myself arguing with youth group leaders about the types of movies that were shown, late night hours and quite a load of junk food not only available but peer group encouraged to consume. Several rock concerts (Christian rock, of course) and the accompanied "lock in" sleep overs threatened to turn me into one of those raging parents in defence of my sweet ones innocence.

The events were all "fun" activities so I guess that is why we tend to overlook them at first but it gets deeper and so does the struggle. Most of the teen rebellion, be it large or small is generally then to be expected and parents are encouraged to go with it and just get them through it.

"Raise them in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it." Why then are 75 % of our youth leaving the church...permanently? I started realizing even though I believed in home education and non age segregated social life, I was somehow thoughtlessly sending my precious little hearts off in age segregated Sunday school classrooms and groups with whomever happened to be the teacher that day. And I often did not know what they were teaching my child about God (another clue...ABOUT God)

Furthermore, the youth group that my now grown children were attending several years ago was led by leaders not much older than my own children. (fools leading fools) Somehow that seems to qualify these leaders as "they can to relate to the kids where they are."

At one point the leader decided to have a (outreach) school book burning bonfire a the end of the school year.
Did I protest?
You know me too well!

Another time one of the youth group members was tied to a street post, toilet papered and sprayed with whipped cream and left there for what was supposed to be several hours...because it was his birthday. That activity was initiated by the youth leaders. I was not very popular when I let loose on them all and untied the poor boy, who by the way was not laughing! Neither is he in the church today.

Another memory comes to mind when I stumbled upon a youth group meeting in process while attending a wedding rehersal where 10 or 15 kids were gathered around a huge water barrel. I was confused seeing one of the young boys with his head immersed up to the neck in the floating ice and water. The kids around were counting hilariously. The challenge was who could keep their head under, breath held for the longest. I still recalled the deathly grey of his face and the obvious disorientation and seeming blindness of one such boy as he came bursting out of the glacier bath. I regret standing by silently in shock. Sufficeth to say I am glad for the leaders sake that my son was not the one in the barrel at the time I stumbled upon the scene. 911 would have had two calls that night.

Fortunately, because of a move to the middle of nowhere on acreage out in the sticks of Arkansas, I had the time to actually think about what I believe and more specifically what the Bible says about youth and how they are to be raised. Many verses immediately came to memory and I found even more as I searched the Scriptures. I started afresh and simply kept my children out of age segregated groups altogether. It wasn't met with a whole lot of encouragement, and even some downright mild rebukes but I held firm, stayed strong, and gained some quiet respect. Still I was continually frustrated by the wonderfully fun type of announcements of what the next Friday night group meeting would bring all the while my boys sitting beside me in church more than slightly pulled with desire.

Then it happened. I called an old friend back in Seattle to make the announcement that we were about to move back to the west coast and she said, "Oh, that' too bad. We won't be in town the weekend you arrive. We are going to a Conference."

My ears pricked up? "Oh? What conference? "

"A Uniting Church and Home Conference."

Uniting Church...and Home... Conference? I was intrigued.

She explained only a little and I knew I had to go. "Do you mean to say that there are other people out there who believe in keeping children's hearts at home and within the family, even at church? That there are whole churches that do not divide the family in age segregated groups the minute you walk through the door? That there aren't any youth group fun filled foolishness packed activity's announced over the microphone for me to have t0 say no?

"Yep."

And to make this story shorter, through that wonderful conference over three years ago we found one of those rare and wonderful churches. At first, to be honest with you, it was a little different and hard to get used to. We were used to a different style of worship and quite easier messages to listen to.
Within a few short weeks though, you could not drag my boys away from the sweet fellowship of mixed ages of many wonderful home school families who believed exactly as we did. Many of them had come through the same path as we did. Furthermore, our new Pastor's wonderful expository preaching spoiled us for anything less for ever more. It is deep and accurate and he lives his faith explicitly.

I confess again, this isn't an easy church to sit in. I have had quite a bit of my theology redefined and challenged. Every week I find myself crying out to God to make me more Holy as He is Holy as I apply the Word to my heart. That, if you have never tried it, is not comfortable.

Consequently, we have all grown in our faith and we have the most wonderful friends of all ages. One of my best friends is 15, a beautiful and fully competant young lady who is the second of 11 children. One of her younger brothers I affectionately call my "little buddy." I have intimate fellowship with both adult single ladies of the church and older Saints in the Lord. Our church is filled with families, fathers and mothers, not just women attendees- a common plight in this manless culture. All over the building you can see every age fellowshipping with any and every other age and group, a teenager talking to a 5 year old, a twenty some thing young lady talking to an older man.

We also have a shared meal at the end of each service. What sweetness of fellowship. It is a whole day of truth in the Word, fellowship with sweet unspoiled home educated friends, and home cooked nourishing food. And all of this is not in a small isolated country town in the center of nowhere but in the heart of one of the busiest and most liberal cities in the US. Seattle.

Chance? No,... Providence, I say.

Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door will be opened to you.

We are so blessed! Thank you Lord, for your direction. Had I not been struggling, I may not have recognized your blessing and found a place to both challenge us and found a place of quiet rest.

For a directory of family integrated churches in your area check out this link. I highly recommend at least a visit.

Living a Lifestyle of Learning daily